so imagine this scene:

my friends and i are gathered around a table for a nice birthday dinner: mine.  a low-key birthday gathering to enjoy some good food.  i see that some have brought birthday gifts and i don’t quite know what to do with myself: kind of excited, kind of feeling undeserving to receive their gifts AND their time for dinner.  everyone is enjoying the food and each other’s company.  now that the meal time is over, the gift time has finally come.  each gift is brought up on the dinner table so that everyone can see it: after all, we don’t want anyone to be left hanging so curious to know, what it is that the birthday girl received from so-and-so.  so far, i am happy to be surrounded by loving friends and am glad that they’re having a good time with each other too.

a friend gets up from her chair and grabs a gift that she brought, off of the table and stretches her arms out (with the gift) to another girl two seats down from her.  i’m thinking, “it’s quite odd – it’s actually MY birthday, not hers…” feeling weird but not wanting to say anything to make anyone feel awkward, i just watch.  in fact, before i hesitate to say a word about it, another friend gets up, grabs his gift that he brought and gives it to another friend who is sitting across the table.  “um.. hey guys.. we’re gathered here for my birthday..  are these not my gifts?” before the second gift is touched to be open, another person gets up and gives another gift to another friend who hasn’t received one yet.  feeling so out of place, i wonder to myself.. “is it really my birthday?  how come no one has a gift for me when it’s my birthday?  um…  can they even see me?”

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could this possibly be what Jesus feels every christmas morning as families gather around their christmas trees and exchange their nicely-wrapped gifts?  everyone gets to receive a nice christmas gift or two (or even seven), while Jesus is robbed of his spotlight?

we hear annually our doses of anti-materialism sermons during christmas seasons.  ya know, sermons stating that christmas isn’t about receiving gifts.  christmas is also not about giving gifts.  instead, we should focus on Jesus and stay away from the materialistic culture that is surrounding us.  in fact, christmas is Jesus’ birthday, isn’t it?

but i have to admit, even within christian circles where anti-materialism sermons have been redundantly repeated, gifts are exchanged.  i’ve been trying to do away with christmas gifting for years, but i have to admit that this year i bought gifts for my parents, bought some materials to make gifts for my sisters, thought of what to give to my boyfriend and am in a group that does annual secret santa gift exchange.  i got excited when my older sister texted me that she sent me something for christmas.  why is it so hard not to give gifts?  why do we enjoy receiving gifts for christmas when it’s not even our birthday?  what did you give Jesus for his birthday this year?  why is this thick culture of christmas gifting so hard to escape?  we understand our sunday messages, and yet we are so bound to gifting and our actions don’t reflect the message..

so..  in response to my own blog.. i think i’m gonna do away with gifting next year.  sorry mom and dad, but i’ll do better on your birthdays and mother’s & father’s days.  sorry boyfriend, but i’ll spoil you throughout the year except for christmas day.  sorry sisters, but i’ll do the same for you girls, although i don’t treat you well enough than i should.  guess i’ll withdraw myself from the secret santa tradition although it’s been so much fun in the past four years.  if i give you a gift around christmas time, i dare not to label that gift as a christmas gift: i’ll make sure that my intention was out of my desire to give you that gift because it reminded me of you, not because i HAD to get you something because we just entered the christmas season.  with the time that i spend stressing out thinking of what to give to the loved ones, i’ll just think of Jesus and hum this song.  or.. spend money on where Jesus would spend his money: donation for homeless, clothing drive, water wells in africa, education needs in a county i’ve never heard before, Bible translations, grocery for refugees, etc.  just by imagining where we can spend money for Jesus, rather than on ourselves, i.. just got excited for a few seconds (this.. is due to the developer side of me from strengths finder 2.0 haha).  but seriously, wouldn’t it be SO AWESOME if we become the generation that spends money for those around us and/or across the country FOR JESUS?

please rebuke me if you catch me buying a christmas gift next year.  you may pull my hair so that i’ll be forever corrected.

p.s. sorry future friends, sorry future in-laws, sorry future kids..  poor kids..

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